The fastest car in the world

As I strolled up to my black Dodge Caliber rental car at the Orlando Airport and fiddled with the single key on the key ring, my mind wandered back to a distant and funny memory. I remember some years ago my friends Tony and Bri Litster pulling up in front of me in a blue convertible PT cruiser. It was a homecoming reunion at the college we all attended (and where we all met our spouses- Tony+Bri, Me+Megan). Tony looks at me and says "what's the fastest, most maneuverable car in the world?". I thought for a moment about various Ferrari's and Lamborghini's and Tony, seeing me taking him seriously, shakes his head and says "a rental" and then slammed his foot into the accelerator. I saw things happen in that PT cruiser that should never happen....ever.

Anyway, I was a bit more tame with the Caliber but it was a fun memory.

I recall when I was about 15 years old my Dad, Nicole, and I were in his Honda Civic. It was a very boxey civic- and I eventually was given it as a gift when I got off the mission. Megan mocks me for ever having driven it- I won't say here what she referred to it as- but suffice to say she takes great pleasure in mocking me incessantly whenever we see that type model civic on the road. Ha Ha. Back to the story- so we were in the civic in the church parking lot one evening after our youth group met. Dad was going to give Nicole some driving lessons. Dad, who could hardly drive worth beans, was going to teach my sister, who had the hand eye coordination of a rock, how to drive a car- at night- using a car that was a stickshift. Nicole couldn't even shift a bicycle and that's no lie. But that’s not what was really stupid, what was really stupid was that I sat in the backseat during this comedy of errors! Nicole, and most people, should obviously learn to drive on an automatic an then graduate to a stickshift. And so Nicole attempted to do a whole lot of things at once and I saw this tree coming at me very very fast....the tree wasn't slowing, in fact, the tree was accelerating at a very fast rate, almost like the civic was a rental or something. Dad did the only thing he could do, he yanked on the emergency brake so hard he nearly pulled it out of the floor (which he has done previously mind you- back in his power lifting days). For the next 4 weeks the members of our church could see these long skid marks in the parking lot leading right up to a birch tree. They were baffled. Nicole did eventually learn to drive a stickshift and she became a very good driver but I think she learned more from Mom than she ever learned from Dad. And I laugh about that because I went through the same thing with the same car! Mom was the real driver instructor. But it sure was funny trying to learn from Dad.

sidenote: It took me all of about 3 minutes to teach my wife how to drive a stickshift and after 3 minutes she drove it better than me (and still does).

note to Megan: look by the wrapping paper.